First Reading Recap

To say this has been the hardest semester I've ever had in college is an understatement. I work and work but feel like I get no closer to my goal. What that goal is, I have no freaking clue. Between classes, rehearsals, short sleeps that I call naps, working out, trying to eat, etc..I did a small little reading of my 9/11 show that I've been working on for months and thinking about for about a year. To recap in one word: Shocked.

I was shocked that I actually put it together. I'm a big time talker but sometimes lack the energy to follow through. I put Sept 11th as the date that I wanted to have my first reading, and it happened just the way I planned.

I was shocked that someone I have so much respect for in this field, Trevin Cooper, read it, was impressed by it, and agreed to help me stage it. I picked Trevin because he was a New York actor with me so between the two of us, we had been to or performed in over a hundred readings. I was shocked that we had 3 good rehearsals and were able to stage the whole thing and give a very coherent story with only a desk and 2 music stands.

I was shocked that almost 75 people showed up on a Sunday morning and allowed themselves to be moved and listened to the 37 stories I told in the 95 minute time span. I felt so supported and part of a theatrical community that wants to learn, share, and desire new work.

I was shocked that after a few monologues I looked out into the crowd and saw a few people sobbing. Honestly, I had become so close to this material that I forgot that it was sad and could affect people that way. Through the entire reading I heard sniffles and blowing of noses that I never expected when I took the stage that day. I actually had a few professors leave immediately after the show because they were overwhelmed with emotions.

I was shocked that the one piece that I love so much because it was funny and not makes fun of the day, but actors got huge laughs and when I realized the audience wanted to laugh at that point, I improvised about 2 minutes of material to it and it just kept getting funnier.

I wasn't shocked that the one piece that I remember sitting down and writing in one draft and never making a change to it and knowing I had something rich in it, got the best reaction and everyone wanted to tell me how much that one stood out.

I was shocked that professors tok me into their offices the next day to tell me how much they loved it and gave me constructive criticism. They weren't only professors at that moment but audience members who were affected by the material and were human beings who joined with me in the art of it.

I was shocked when one of my professors said "you raised a lot of questions" which is all I ever want to do as an artist. I was shocked when the majority of responses to the material included "live life to the fullest", "don't sweat the small shit", "Life could be over tomorrow", "I'm grateful for what I have" when that was the intention for a very long time even though I never came right out and said it.

I was shocked that I feel like I just scratched the surface of what this could be or what this is going to be. My biggest fear is that it won't be as powerful on other days besides Sept 11. Was it because it was on that day that it meant so much? Or was it because the material can be used any day of the year? Only time will answer that.

I'm overwhelmed with the outpouring of thoughts, support, and appreciation for my work from everyone. Thank you. I don't do this for my ego. I do it because it's my contribution to the world and to the world of art.