Day #2

If I could write one more monologue to the show, it would be about what I witnessed when I went to the Memorial. Here we are standing next to these two enormous reflecting pools with the names of all the deceased, flowers, and loved ones tearing up and praying. Behind them you have tourists who are posing for family/couple pictures, as if they're standing in front of FAO Schwartz. Where do these pictures go and what's the story behind them when they tell people? "Over here on the mantle is our family picture in front of the graveyard of almost 3,000 souls who were brutally murdered. Yeah, we're all smiling. Tim is sort of looking away but we took 4-5 so we could get the perfect shot in front of the monument of one of the most depressing days in World history. Oh, look over my shoulder in the picture, yeah, I'm the one with the Statue of Liberty hat, see that person, they were balling in hysterics. I think they were crying over their husband or dad or someone. I tried to frame them out so they didn't ruin the picture. We might use it as our Christmas card. "

Seriously, it's such a beautiful place and some beautiful landscape and so overwhelming. I stared in disbelief as people handed over their cameras and said, "can you get our picture in front of this" , and then would smile and hold each other like it was a bar. Maybe someone can enlighten me here.

Day #1

Rehearsal day #1 was starting to memorize the script. The difference is I'm memorizing my lines instead of someone else's. One of the pros is when I memorize a line and don't like the rhythm or sound of it, I simply change it. The con is what if I'm dumbing it down so that it's easy to memorize? I wrote it not thinking how easy it would be to memorize. I've performed hundreds of scripts and I don't ever remember them being insanely easy to memorize, so I need to police myself.

I have started the advertising plans for the show, which to be honest, is 80% of the show being successful. I have 7 performances and can seat up to 100 people at each one, so how do I publicize and intrigue 700 people to come? Over half of the people I want to come see the show don't even know I exist right now. And who wants to see another 9/11 show?

Another problem I have dealt with is the producer costs. I have just been hovering above $0 in my bank account for the past two months because of the initial costs. I have more bills for the show already facing me in the near future.

I have student loans coming in soon, but the idea that came to me recently was what if they weren't? As Kander and Ebb say in Cabaret, Money makes the world go round. We are usually more concerned with having money in our account than getting our art out there. What if I had absolutely NO MONEY coming my way in any sense except for what I could make with my art? The idea of that changes my entire outlook on how I approach my work ethic and drive to get my work and myself sold. I don't know anyone who is as desperate as Dustin Hoffman in Kramer vs. Kramer when he needs a job at that moment to make everything right. He accepts nothing but an answer of "Yes". He doesn't go home and complain thinking the world is against him. I would probably be taken aback by someone who dedicated every single moment getting themselves and their work in order to live solely off of it in today's economy. If I had 3 dollars to my name, and the only way I could pay for anything was getting money from acting, writing, or performing, I wouldn't procrastinate like I do and wouldn't just fake my way through things. I believe we have done a lot (business and university wise) to make the arts a very safe environment.