Memorial Day

I have lived at my pool for the past 3 weeks and I have finished about 90% of my first rough draft of the show. I decided to take the route of writing pretty intensely for an hour or two at a time and not reading it again. When I get back from Ohio, I'll re read each character and moment and see what stands out. Then the rewriting begins and that's going to be... well just plain aggravating and stupid. I've written about 30-35 characters which have little or nothing to do with each other and moments that range from heart breaking to side splitting. Yes, I had to come up with some funny moments or this show would be about as funny as Schindler's List.

I then realized over this month that this blog is actually going to be part of my thesis paper and how the process of writing the script came to be and decisions I made and chose not to make. So I need to be a bit more specific on things, BUT there's a huge part of me that doesn't want to share what I've written yet because it's so disgustingly raw. So raw that Im scared to read it again myself right now. All I can say is there is one moment that I actually started crying as I was writing the words because the character I had created touched my heart so deep. The moment I wrote that is intended to lighten the mood was so much fun to write and just like when you're in the middle of an improv scene that is working, came so easily. One thought lead to the next and it almost felt like it was writing itself. Then I came to a section where I started writing with one intention and it got away from me and something happened with it that scared the shit out of me and surprised me at the same time and I had to get up and walk away and wonder if it was really me that just wrote it.

It's fucking 9/11. We all have feelings about it. It all means something different to every single one of us and I have to trust myself and feel like I'm giving it the justice that I feel I want to. I have narrowed the vision of the show to include only New York and the idea of terrorism and how it affects someone physically and mentally. I'm going to have a few people read the sections and characters and give me feedback not how to make it better but what they feel when they hear and experience it. If they feel nothing, then I have to hit it from an another way.

Another thing I have to keep in mind is that this is predominantly an acting thesis and I want to give enough variety in the characters, moods, tempo, information, and entertainment value to have fun and challenge myself. How do I go from convincingly playing a jewish mother

remembering something to a NYC fireman in the act of doing something that day? The ridiculous part of me gets an artist's boner when I think of tackling these challenges.

I'm also glad I started this project when I did because after reading 5-6 books and watching hours of documentary, I started writing ideas that went A to C but now a month later are going A to Q. I get an idea and wonder how in the hell I could make it work and then just start writing and seeing if I can. Some ideas are so ridiculous that I want to make them work just so I can punch it in the throat and say "HA! Take that bitch!" Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. I'm not putting that pressure on myself, but I have found out that the more I really push my creativity, the more enjoyable it is. BUT...... is that what got Spiderman the musical in so much trouble??

The added pleasure of this work has been my creativity has been on overdrive and have written so many side projects these past few weeks that I have something to take my mind off of the tragedies of Sept 11. I'm in the process of rewriting those and sending them to Alex so we can start filming them next semester. I remember my composition teacher at Otterbein saying "write, write, write. 10% of what you write will be good and the other 90% will teach you what not to do and maybe will give you an idea that will give you an idea for your next project."

So what the hell am I writing this blog for...back to New York!

Need help

I've been writing constantly for the past week and have hit many different aspects of that day. It occurred to me tonight that there is a lot about that day that I've learned in my research process. I'm doing this show for you, the citizens. To answer questions and to bring you closer to understanding something that was so horrific. As I keep coming up with new topics and ways to communicate them, I'm wondering what kind of information you know and what you think you know about 9/11. If you wouldn't mind, if you could write about that day. Not where you were and what happened, but what you remember about the facts of that day and after. Some things that I thought were common sense are lost on people outside of NYC. Also list any things you wish you knew more about from that day. I'm keeping the show revolved around the happenings in NYC. Thanks for any insight you might have. You can send a message to my facebook or email me at jasonnettle@mac.com.

Thanks,

Jason

First stream of thought writing. 10 minutes.

9/11 First draft free thought- 10 minutes

death. bodies and murders like no one has ever witnessed before in america and in nyc. it was brutal. how everything must have worked so perfectly for the highjackers for this to happen. makes me think it was supposed to happen. Any number of things could have gone wrong, but they didn't. it was almost perfect. two towers falling but only killing 3,000 people. is it wrong to think that that wasn't very many people. or enough people to make it horrendous? People evaporated. Sitting at a job they hated or being tired and were absolutely defenseless and evaporated. Then the people above had to worry for an hour. Smoke killed some. What an awful way to die. then the jumpers. did they feel they could survive? what was happening up there? How hot was it that jumping to your death was the only choice. People on the street witnessing them falling. nothing anyone has ever seen. bodies exploding on the ground. who sees that? how do you recover from that?

The first plane seemed like an accident. was it a bomb, small commuter jet? was the pilot drunk? Second plane was an attack. For 16 minutes we were dealing with a fire. 2nd explosion had more people watching and meant more. It was like a movie. cinematography couldn't have been better or more suspenseful. An explosion in a building in nYC of that magnitude on tv. You cant write something like that. THen who knew if the 2nd plane was it? Were there more? What else? then we hear about the pentagon and united 93. there are rumors of others around country but not confirmed. Anything could have been the answer for this. 10 thousand dead? 1 thousand dead?

300 firefighters crushed. Did they know it was going to fall? Were they heroes? Did they think they'd get up and out before anything destructive happened. They hardly made it close to the fire. They didn't even put any out. a couple did. They went in to get crushed. Walking up stairs would take them 3 hours. It only stood for an hour.

Uh oh

I had a discovery today. I think I'm ready to sit down and start writing. And what's going through my mind over and over again? "You're going to screw this up Jason." "Is this going to be a disaster?" "What are you going to write about that isn't going to be just depressing?" "Is this going to be entertaining at all??" "How can I tell the story and not make it look like artistic masturbation?" "What can I say that everyone hasn't heard already?" "How is this going to avoid being just another 9/11 piece?" "How am I going to put everything that is in my head down in a coherent way that captures the audiences imagination, emotions, and sense of understanding?" "How do I make this show amazing and not a piece of shit?"

Ahhhhhh..... the life of a writer and someone who is taking a major risk. Fuck me.

Post Post 9/11

I actually couldn't sleep last night. I kept waking up and watching the news. I woke up at 5:30 am and continued to see the words "Osama Bin Laden dead". Depending on the news station which some would say "Obama Bin Laden dead" which really confused me. I don't think that man had anything to do with 9/11. I had so many people come up to me today and say "I thought of you last night when I saw the announcement". Well, thank you. I couldn't figure out if it was because of my project, that I'm from NYC, or they were secretly hoping that I was in the deceased and not that mass murderer. I chose not to investigate their association.

After thinking about it all day, the only thing that really resonated in me was how much I missed NYC today. To see images of the city and my neighbors celebrating and hugging made me want to walk among them and let them piss me off like they usually did. I can't believe it's been 10 years, but it is so ironic that I have been living that horrific day constantly so the news came to me with all of this fresh in my head. Last night I just finished watching 2 History channel documentaries about 9/11 and 30 minutes later Bin Laden was killed. It almost felt like justice was served that day, when we wanted him tortured, strung by his toes, and kicked in the nuts by everyone who lost someone that day. The parentless children would get to kick until they got tired.

The news has spread like any news is spread in 2011, via Facebook. That's how I found out. I spun and turned on the TV and watched the reports from there. All day people have been updating their status and letting the world know their personal and political opinions about the ordeal. Mine is "Thank you to the military. This doesn't put an end to anything, but it's nice to know that that disgusting human being isn't among the living now." I feel happy, but I don't think it really changes anything. Has he even been among the terrorist cells for the past 10 years? I don't know. Only a select few in the world know the answer to that. I like watching the updates from my liberal friends, intertwined with my conservative friends, and speckled with the updates from my friends in the military. You would think three different things happened last night. I know what happened on Sept 11, 2001. There isn't a liberal, conservative, conspiracy theorist, atheist, foreigner, or tea partier who can change my experience with that.

God bless you America.

Wow

I've been living this project and these images for a month now and the fact that I know he didn't die of old age but was hunted down brings satisfaction to me tonight. I know this won't stop the terrorists from continuing to be assholes, but what a nice victory tonight. May 3,000 souls rest in peace now from this dispicable human being. Thank you Military. We owe you everything.

Second Brainstorming Session

After more videos, books, and memories, I have added on to my previous brainstorming list. If I could write a show about every single thing I'm thinking of, it would last 3 days. This list and the previous list combine to make 250 character/ideas/images/phrases that I've taken in thus far.

The symphony of different noises

A piece of glass goed thru two people as one tries to cover the other

The smell of manhattan that week.

The air all around contained bits of every deceased

Later on- whats happening now? Expect the worst

neurotic guy who cant get the smell, ash, memory out of his clothes

Someone who could have been saved but sacrificed themselves for the lord

What does ground zero mean.

How i make sure the terrorists dont win

Guatam patel- indian writer

Fires burned for 100 days

Rescue worker wants to sit down but would feel guilty if someone trapped saw him

Edgar allan poe: my very senses reject their own evidence

What towns lost the most people

Someone with a camera who went tiwards what was happening. Tells the story visually

Battery dead on the camera

Street light knocked down killing someone

The steel was still on fire and hot after the collapse. Couldnt rummage around.

How big of a space battery park is. Most people dont understand the tughtness of streets and distance

What happened when he got home that night. Vacant soul. Vomiting in the shower

The fireman thanking me for serving him drinks.

"swimmers" to go down through debris.

How many things had to go right for this to work for them

See a picture of the plabe right before it hits 2nd tower and realize how much hate and fright is on that plane

1st time airline operations were stopped

Attack on pentagon doesnt matter right now

Battleships and fighter jets on patrol

Replay first minutes over and over again. 2nd guessing.

All the fires placed around like a movie set

Someone screaming Stop drop and roll

Helping someone who i saw for years but never said hello to

Turned on radio, they were joking about pam anderson while we were running for our lives

The difference between regular nyers and 9/11 nyers. Subway, stairs, cabs, etc.

The water from sprinklers added on to the ash made for ghost people.

Person survived collapse because they were tramled and thr people were like a blanket

Someone standing at the edge of the city. Hasnt stepped a foot since that day. Horrible memories

For 16 minutes it was just a crash and a fire

"what do we do?!?"

Stunned faces

What is the breathing patterns of that

Stupid people commenting

Making shit up

Relaying of info as it happened between nyers. 2 planes? Bombs? Every half an hour? Terrorists?

A pastor at impact Zone with injured who can provide comfort...but frim what?

Moment of silence by pres bush while chaos taking place

Stuck in manhattan. Cant leave.

For an hour, it was fires in building. No one thought theyd fall

Fireman calling wife to say hes alive after first collapse

Areas thatvwere picturesque fr brides and tourists looked like hell

I wanred to smoke, know where i could get a light? Irony.

Someone who a jumper was kin to

What good has come from it

Jan demczur. All the other heroes no one has ever hers of

One moment drinking coffee, next my friend is on fire

Remember different rhythms and different accents. Diff ages, sexes, sexuality,

People thought it was a gun

Calling a relative and preparing them for what might happen. They cant let go.

Someone choking on the ash and dying

Being interviewed right after

The confusion of getting info on a relative and names/ building # etc

3000 people was just a fraction of what and who they hurt

Human bonsai tree

You cant replace a life. You can a building

Rant on liberals and wanting peace and uss cole, clinton, civil rights

Rubber neckers got crushed even after bring told to leave

Could be a funny story of mishaps that someone is fondly remembering. Running into a doughnut cart

A fathers job is to protect his daughter

Body part sections in the morgue

There are people you know before and after the attack

Felt the heat from the fireball in 2nd explosion

Everybody seemed to find a coworker running withthem ad then disappear

An actors point of view. All about himself

Jason nettle's point of view

Finally getting the call that hes ok

2nd plane caused almost 100 people to be ejected from the building

Go to war now. Hate bin laden.

Unbelievable blacknesa from collapse. Is this death? No one knows what its like

After collapse, breaking into building, getting on elevator, very peaceful music

Cars exploded from the heat of the fires

The ash and dust were remains of people and that hit mr and made me sick. Comes off in shower

The hail story from laura

How do you tell a kid?

People were still "working" because we wrent sure how it would end

Tortured logic

Everyone wondered if they had died when it was pitch black from the dust

Did your men make it out? No. That first realization that people were crushed

Our mayor was walking down the street like everyone else

Hugged wife a little longer next day

If god intervened, id have more trouble dealing with this. Guilt

What to do when you receive infonation and you cant process it

Hospitals didnt have patiebts because people just vanished

People whos only job in life was to save people

They havent taken away our spirit

Ground zero known as the pile

Where do you start

Using missing instead of dead

Have you ever lived on hope?

If i jump i can end it the way i want. I want to fly. My soul to be free

We're not used to this. Dont even know what to do

When it fell, i remeber breathing it all in. Holding my breath. Hearing my neighbor scream

I ran away for the first time in my life

Ok. You got what you wanted Theyre down. Nowwhat??! What do you have fuckers??

Boat rescues were amazing

I have never seen war, but i imagine this is what it looks like

When did we think it was stable?

No water downtown. Fires just burned.

Last survivors were found the morning of the 12th. 5 of them

Bigger rock that could have dozens of people in it

What do i tell this baby that im holding

What are physics of collapse. How much weight, impact, force, etc

Do i tackle the issue of religion

What was this dead body doing 30 minutes ago

Can all the characters be connected in some way

After collapse i couldnt even speak. Sound waves had no where to go

When they hear the building coming down above them, what do you think. Same thing as the guy next to him, but he didnt make it

How do you prepare to die? What have i done with my life

You think of everything you havent done with your life. Ive got 5 seconds. Cant do anything now

If my husband saved you, do something with your life because he cant

Firemen never have felt hopeless. Theyre the ones who do the work

Im trapped in north tower stairway b, where is north tower

Im comin for ya brother