Memorial Day

I have lived at my pool for the past 3 weeks and I have finished about 90% of my first rough draft of the show. I decided to take the route of writing pretty intensely for an hour or two at a time and not reading it again. When I get back from Ohio, I'll re read each character and moment and see what stands out. Then the rewriting begins and that's going to be... well just plain aggravating and stupid. I've written about 30-35 characters which have little or nothing to do with each other and moments that range from heart breaking to side splitting. Yes, I had to come up with some funny moments or this show would be about as funny as Schindler's List.

I then realized over this month that this blog is actually going to be part of my thesis paper and how the process of writing the script came to be and decisions I made and chose not to make. So I need to be a bit more specific on things, BUT there's a huge part of me that doesn't want to share what I've written yet because it's so disgustingly raw. So raw that Im scared to read it again myself right now. All I can say is there is one moment that I actually started crying as I was writing the words because the character I had created touched my heart so deep. The moment I wrote that is intended to lighten the mood was so much fun to write and just like when you're in the middle of an improv scene that is working, came so easily. One thought lead to the next and it almost felt like it was writing itself. Then I came to a section where I started writing with one intention and it got away from me and something happened with it that scared the shit out of me and surprised me at the same time and I had to get up and walk away and wonder if it was really me that just wrote it.

It's fucking 9/11. We all have feelings about it. It all means something different to every single one of us and I have to trust myself and feel like I'm giving it the justice that I feel I want to. I have narrowed the vision of the show to include only New York and the idea of terrorism and how it affects someone physically and mentally. I'm going to have a few people read the sections and characters and give me feedback not how to make it better but what they feel when they hear and experience it. If they feel nothing, then I have to hit it from an another way.

Another thing I have to keep in mind is that this is predominantly an acting thesis and I want to give enough variety in the characters, moods, tempo, information, and entertainment value to have fun and challenge myself. How do I go from convincingly playing a jewish mother

remembering something to a NYC fireman in the act of doing something that day? The ridiculous part of me gets an artist's boner when I think of tackling these challenges.

I'm also glad I started this project when I did because after reading 5-6 books and watching hours of documentary, I started writing ideas that went A to C but now a month later are going A to Q. I get an idea and wonder how in the hell I could make it work and then just start writing and seeing if I can. Some ideas are so ridiculous that I want to make them work just so I can punch it in the throat and say "HA! Take that bitch!" Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. I'm not putting that pressure on myself, but I have found out that the more I really push my creativity, the more enjoyable it is. BUT...... is that what got Spiderman the musical in so much trouble??

The added pleasure of this work has been my creativity has been on overdrive and have written so many side projects these past few weeks that I have something to take my mind off of the tragedies of Sept 11. I'm in the process of rewriting those and sending them to Alex so we can start filming them next semester. I remember my composition teacher at Otterbein saying "write, write, write. 10% of what you write will be good and the other 90% will teach you what not to do and maybe will give you an idea that will give you an idea for your next project."

So what the hell am I writing this blog for...back to New York!